I have to admit, I am guilty at this, and if you really look at yourself you are too. We are all that “Judgemental Mum”. I try really hard to accept other people’s choices, and be flexible with the idea that of course you will not feed the way that I feed, or shop how we shop, or to family the way we family. We are all guilty of it… so fess up, and choose now to make the change. We need to stop blaming each other, judging each other, and putting each other down.
As mums, we want what is best for our kids. That is the be all and end all of it. We. Love. Our. Kids. Period! Do I love mine more because I used cloth diapers, or breastfed? Do you love yours more because you stay at home with your kids or because you limit screen time better than I do? No! So why are we always commenting, judging, and even grimacing at another parent’s choice. As long as it isn’t hurting the kid, damaging them, or putting them at risk…who cares?
Let that mum sit at the park with her nose in the phone because that may be the first minute she has had to think for days, maybe she just got some bad news that she needs to figure out her next move.
If you see a mum bottle feeding her kid, don’t judge because you breastfed…you never know what is IN the bottle – maybe it IS breastmilk. You don’t know the troubles mum and babe have gone through to get that baby to even eat at all.
If you see a mum struggling with a screaming kid at the grocery store, don’t assume bad parenting, or bad child…maybe that mum and child have been up all night sick, and have no backup and are coming to the store for supplies.
If you see a mum dressing her kid in ridiculously expensive and new clothes, don’t think that they are spoiling them, maybe that is what the kid got for Christmas from the grandparents, or in a great Yard Sale find. Alternatively, don’t judge if a kid has holes in the knees of the his pants – probably just means that he has been so busy playing, he wore right through them, or that he wants to wear his big brothers old clothes, because then he is more like him.
Don’t judge that mum who uses disposable diapers. She may not have a laundry system of her own, and doing cloth diapers may not be possible.
Don’t judge that mum who is breastfeeding an older child. The mum and the child are happy, and healthy and aren’t hurting anyone. So stop, just stop. (Wouldn’t you want to burn 500 extra calories a day, just by sitting there?) I wish my kids would have continued longer.
Don’t judge that mum that puts her kids in so many activities, the family never stops running around – thats what they like, can afford, and want to do. On the other side, don’t judge the family that doesn’t put their children in any extra activities. Maybe financial situations limit their funds, or maybe as a single parent, the idea of doing it all is overwhelming.
Don’t judge that mum that lets their kids watch a lot of TV, or play on devices for as long as they want. Maybe they are watching educational shows, or learning games. Or maybe, just maybe, the mum is working several jobs from home and needs a minute to think or work.
Don’t judge that mum who doesn’t cook everything from scratch. They probably weren’t taught when they were growing up, and know no other way of cooking.
Instead of looking down our noses at other mums, we should be accepting everyone’s differences, and knowing in the end we all want the exact same thing as every other mum. We love our kids, and we are doing everything we can to keep our heads above water, and to give them the best life that we know how. So stop the judging, stop the condescending remarks, and stop putting each other down. We are all women, mothers and friends…let’s start supporting each other, empowering each other, and encouraging our differences and our similarities.