New Years Resolutions
It’s that time of year again, when the gyms get busier, the meals get healthier, the savings get bigger and the houses get more organized. It seems like everyone is figuring out their New Years resolutions…and I am most definitely not. I am I firm believer on bettering yourself in whatever way that means for you. Maybe it is going to the gym more, or even going for more walks, maybe it’s getting your finances in order, or spending more family time. Whatever it is that you are feeling a need to improve on, then yes I am a firm believer on doing it. But for me, that does not happen on January 1st.
I am constantly wanting to better myself in not one, not two, but almost all areas of my life. I never seem to be happy with myself. Not unhappy with my life, more unhappy with me, with my failures. My lack of ability to keep a tidy house all the time, my lack of ability to make healthy meals all the time, my lack of ability to save more money and my lack of ability to get my body back in shape. There are too many areas that I know I need to improve on. Improve on my friendships, my relationships, my parenting ability, my teaching skills, my organization, my health, my fitness, my writing, my….life. Sometimes I feel that New Years is too much pressure, too much stress on being better…always needing to be better. I don’t understand why people put this stress on themselves, to yet again make a resolution, that they know they can’t keep. There are memes all over the internet on how New Years resolutions are a joke.
What works better for me, is not to pick one resolution on New Years, but as the year goes on, find what is most in need of some tender lovin’ care and focus on that. And maybe it only needs a night to talk through it with your partner, or maybe it needs more time, to grow or to heal, or to improve. And then once I find that I have a handle on that, or if something else pops up that requires more of my attention, I switch my focus, I switch my resolution into whatever I need to at that moment. I have come to realize through help of some lovely professionals that I often try to do too much all at once. I have been told, and it may be the best advice I have ever received “Do what is most important first, then move on to the next task and don’t stress on something you have no control over”. This advice has worked for me, from school assignments, family emergencies, work load and more. This method has been able to keep me calm in most senarios, not focusing on things that I have no control over. My husband on the other hand worries, and stresses about step # 685 when we are only on step #203. He looks all the way to the end of the scenario while I can only see what is right in front of me. I need to only focus on the next thing, the most important thing, and one thing at a time. I suppose it is nice that we have that balance, between us. Even though sometimes I know we both get frustrated because he is too stressed, and he feels I am not stressed enough and the burden gets placed on his shoulders. But we are trying to find a balance.
So if I were to look at New Years resolutions as a whole, a once a year thing where you have to get all your shit together, and see how long you can keep those resolutions; I may just lose my mind and I think my mind and body would go into overdrive with anxiety. I Just. Can’t. Do it.
Again, resolutions are great, they make us better, or at least aware of the things we want to better. But for me, I have so many things I want need to ‘fix’ I can’t get them all done at once. It may just be a possilbity for some to start fresh once a year and they are able to just have those one or two resolutions and if it DOES work for you then AWESOME…make those New Years resolutions – Go Get ‘Em….but for me…I just can’t function like that.
Whatever you do on New Years, and whatever promises you make to yourself – Own it and do the best you can do. For me – I know I will fail, so I make up my own rules.
Happy New Year everyone.